Fellowship of the Ring

Posted on December 29, 2010 by Val

Rosca de Reyes

Mexico

Cutting the ring for a sample

Cutting the ring for a sample

I was aware of the tradition of the King Cake, a Mardi Gras staple decorated with familiar gold, green and purple icing and hiding a tiny plastic baby Jesus like some confectionary Cracker Jack pastry where you eat the box. I was unfortunate enough to have found the baby – unfortunate because I almost lost a tooth biting down on the plastic infant. What I was not aware of is that there is a similar Mexican tradition involving a ring of bread – El Rosca de Reyes (the Kings’ Ring). Instead of consuming the bread on Fat Tuesday like the King Cake, the Rosca de Reyes is typically eaten on Epiphany (January 6), the day celebrated by Catholics as the arrival of the three kings (or wise men) to see the baby Jesus. The plastic tot is hidden inside the bread to symbolize Jesus being hidden from King Herod, who commanded that newborn male infants be put to death (when you’re known historically as a bad guy, you don’t get a bread or cake named after you). According to tradition, if you find the baby in the bread, you must host a party on February 2nd (the Catholic holiday of Candlemas Day, also known as Día de La Candelaria in Mexico) and provide the tamales.

The unbaked rings rising before decorating

The unbaked rings rising before decorating

Many Mexican bakeries make their own regional rendition of the Rosca de Reyes, but if you want to get the bread and the masa for making the tamales you can find both at La Morenita Bakery in Los Angeles. Their masa is extremely popular between December 22 and December 24 for those making tamales for Christmas – they generally sell about 10,000 pounds of it over the three days. As you drive up to the bakery, you’ll notice a giant hopper off to the side of the building with a corn field painted on it. This vat holds the raw corn that is pumped inside and used to make the masa from scratch. Their most popular items year round are the bolillos (a type of personal French bread) and conchas (sea shell-shaped pan dulce). On the day that I visited La Morenita to see the Rosca de Reyes made, baker Alex Peña also made several trays of each, which were snapped up by people waiting in line to get the goods hot out of the oven. Peña has worked in the family business since he was a child; he put some time in for a few years as a food scientist for Bakemark, developing the skills he brought back to La Morenita. The restaurant and bakery has been open since 1957; in 1988, the Acosta family who had run it from the beginning sold it off to the Peña family who have been baking and cooking ever since.

Fruit paste, cherries and butter for decorating the rings

Fruit paste, cherries and butter for decorating the rings

Watching the creation of the Roscas de Reyes is like watching art being made. The dough is similar to that used for Brioche des Rois, the French version of the bread. It is hand rolled into long, serpentine strips about 2 inches or so across. The dough is shaped into rings (actually the confection is more oval shaped) in three sizes: a small one that fits approximately two per baker’s tray; a medium-sized on that takes up approximately three-quarters of the tray and a large one that covers a single tray. La Morenita makes their Rosca de Reyes similar to the traditional style of Mexico City with two differences – the addition of cinnamon to the dough, and Maraschino cherries on top instead of the traditional glazed cherries. The rings are rolled out and a plastic baby is placed somewhere in the oval. The dough is then allowed to sit for three days in the refrigerator to “ferment”; it has taken them some time to get the timing just right, working off the ratio of sugar to yeast in the dough. Prior to baking, the rings will be steamed for 45 minutes in the proofer and left to cool for a few minutes prior to decorating.

Adding the powdered sugar as the finishing touch

Adding the powdered sugar as the finishing touch

The dough is painted with a coat of beaten egg which gives the outside of the bread color and texture. Once the egg is applied, it’s time to start decorating. Peña starts with a paste of sugar, flour, egg and shortening, dabbing approximately 8 stripes along the top. Between the paste stripes, fruit paste approximately the length and width of French fries are laid down; there are red (guava), yellow (quince) and green (apple) fruit strips applied in their position in the Mexican flag (Peña states that if you turn it upside down the Italian flag is represented as well). Before you get your hopes up, there is no candy eagle eating a snake on top. The spaces left open are filled with cut pieces of figs in syrup and the Maraschino cherries. When the masterpiece is completed, into the oven it goes. The Roscas de Reyes are made between December 21st and January 6th, with the greatest amount sold on Epiphany. In that two week period, between 800 and 1,000 of the rings will be sold. Between the corn masa and the Roscas de Reyes, Christmas is La Morenita’s busiest time of year, although they also sell large amounts of masa during local tamale festivals.

The rings fresh out of the oven

The rings fresh out of the oven

For the best flavor, I highly advise eating the Rosca de Reyes while it is fresh (Peña states that on January 6th, patrons are lined up out the door,  scooping them up still hot from the oven). The bread has a rich, spongy consistency similar to a panettone; the dough contains approximately 40 percent butter, giving it a rich flavor and although it is sweet from the toppings, it doesn’t come across as being too sugary. Enjoy it with a nice mug of some hot Mexican chocolate, but try not to dip or you may have to drag the river for the baby Jesus.

La Morenita Bakery
1157 Cypress Ave.
Los Angeles, CA 90065
GPS Coordinates: 34°5’41.83″N 118°13’38.27″W

GALLERY: See images from making Rosca de Reyes at La Morenita Bakery in Los Angeles, California

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I Love L.A.

Posted on December 27, 2010 by Val

Los Angeles’ Historic Core District

Grand Central Market, Million Dollar Theater (L); Bradbury Building (R)

Grand Central Market, Million Dollar Theater (L); Bradbury Building (R)

I have to wonder why many writers in Los Angeles have a fixation and focus on whatever is new as opposed to the fascinating remnants of the old guard. Although historically there is not much dating back past the 19th century, there are some beautifully restored reminders of our past that are worth checking out, with a considerable amount of them congregating in one area – the Historic Core District. This area is bounded by Hill, Main, 3rd and 9th Streets, and encompasses what was considered Los Angeles in the early half of the 1900s. The Core District has had its share of ups and downs and until recently was more down than up. Since the 1990s, a major effort has been under way to revitalize the area and bring back these gems to their former glory while making it a safe and fun place for people to visit. The area includes the original Los Angeles (El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Ángeles del Río de Porciúncula, a mouthful to be sure) which is located to the north in and around Olvera Street, Pershing Square, L.A. City Hall, the Biltmore Hotel and old quirky restaurants such as Clifton’s Cafeteria, and the French dip warriors Cole’s and Philippe. There is no way I could do a single article highlighting all the notable points of interest in the Core District, so I’ll focus on a single block between Broadway, Hill, 3rd and 4th Streets (a very short walk from the Pershing Square Metro station, and with plenty of street parking).

The sky lit atrium of the Bradbury Building

The sky lit atrium of the Bradbury Building

We’ll start our tour on Broadway; from the middle of the east side of the street (looking towards the intersection of Broadway and West 2nd Street) the magnificent architecture of the Million Dollar Theater and the Bradbury Building dominate the view. From the outside, the Bradbury seems unfamiliar, but once you pass through the beautiful bare wood doorway you will immediately recognize it from countless television shows and movies (the most popular being Blade Runner – ironically, architect George Wyman designed the building inspired by the 1887 science fiction novel “Looking Backwards”). Built in 1893 at a then-astronomical price of around $500,000, the building had fallen into disrepair over the years but has been lovingly restored to its original grandeur after being given landmark status in 1977. The sky lighted atrium is breathtaking – the tile walls give way to each of the floors, which are decorated with wrought-iron railings and wood accents and ceilings; an open wrought iron cage elevator takes occupants up to the 5th floor. Although the building is filled with occupied offices, visitors with business in the building must check in with the guard; all other visitors are only permitted up to the first level.

Center aisle of Grand Central Market

Center aisle of Grand Central Market

Directly across the street is one of the oldest movie palaces in the United States, the 1918 Million Dollar Theater. The theater was built by Sid Grauman, who is probably better known for his Chinese Theater in Hollywood featuring stars’ hand and footprints in cement. Through the 1940s the theater featured popular live acts of the day along with movies; in the late 40s, it became a center for Spanish language entertainment. The theater was closed for several years but recently renovated and re-opened once again as a Latino entertainment center. To the left of the Million Dollar Theater in the same block is Los Angeles’ famous Grand Central Public Market. Built and operating since 1917, it is the definitive place to get fresh produce, meat and specialty items or hard-core ethnic cuisine. During operating hours the Broadway and Hill Street entrances are fully opened giving the indoor market the appearance of an outdoor bazaar. The cement floors are covered in sawdust, and it’s not unusual to see a pigeon or two wandering around inside (trying to avoid ending up in butcher paper, I imagine). One of my personal favorite stalls goes by the odd name of Roast to Go. The stall wears its menu on its sleeve, with their food displayed prominently in steam-covered glass cases, but it’s their unusual Mexican offerings that make it one of my favorite places to get a bite in Los Angeles. The menu features lengua (tongue), hog maw (stomach), pork snout, beef cheeks and more – I couldn’t resist the temptation of the tongue rising from the tangy depths of a sauce filled tray and ordered one lengua and one hog maw taco. There couldn’t have been two more different tasting meats – the lengua was tender and fatty and worked well as a contrast to the traditional taco fillings; the hog maw had a firm and chewy consistency and a delicious flavor that would be difficult to describe as porcine. Farther down at Maria’s Seafood I found something I hadn’t had the pleasure of trying previously – charales. Charales are tiny freshwater fish from Mexico that are battered and fried whole, then eaten as a snack or in tacos. I decided that a taco was in order, and the spicy, crispy fish were the perfect complement to the cool tomato and lettuce.

Angels Flight, the worlds shortest railway

Angels Flight, the worlds shortest railway

After chowing down on any of the traditional “food of the people” at Grand Central Market, take a walk out the Hill Street entrance and cross the street to one of Los Angeles’ hidden gems, Angels Fight. The funicular (similar to Pittsburgh’s Monongahela and Duquesne Inclines) has the distinction of being the shortest railway in the world (with a good arm you could throw a stone from one end to the other of its 298-foot length). The railway was built in 1901 and continued operating through 1969 when it was dismantled for redevelopment of the land it was on (half a block from its current location). It was moved to its current location and reopened in 1996 connecting the Core District at Hill and West 2nd Streets with the modern Bunker Hill California Plaza, and was registered as a historic landmark in 2000. Angels Flight was closed after a fatal accident in February 2001 when one of the cars reversed direction and sped to the bottom and crashed, killing an 83-year old passenger. After 9 years of rebuilding, installing safety features and thorough testing, Angels Flight reopened on March 15, 2010. You can still ride in the original wooden cars; at 50 cents for a round-trip the brief ride on the world’s shortest railway is the best half-dollar you’ll ever spend.

Lengua on the left, hog maw on the right

Lengua on the left, hog maw on the right

There is a multitude of other historic spots in and around Los Angeles (some of which I’ll have to cover in other articles) but I suggest you seek out and enjoy these gems before they are lost in the tide of history. To know and love L.A. requires an appreciation not just of where it is going, but where it has been. Although I’m not  as enthusiastic about it as Randy Newman, you don’t have to look far to find something to love in L.A.

The Bradbury Building
304 South Broadway Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90012
GPS Coordinates: 34°3’2.35″N 118°14’53.03″W

The Million Dollar Theater
307 South Broadway Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90013
GPS Coordinates: 34°3’3.01″N 118°14’53.78″W

Grand Central Market
317 South Broadway Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90013
GPS Coordinates: 34 3’1.95″N 118°14’54.79″W

Angels Flight
351 South Hill Street
Los Angeles, CA 90013
GPS Coordinates: 34°3’3.86″N 118°14’59.38″W

Los Angeles Business Improvement District

GALLERY: See images of Val’s visit to a historic block of L.A.’s Historic Core District

Hear Randy Newman’s “I Love L.A.”


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Yo Ho Ho and A Bottle of Rum

Posted on December 20, 2010 by Val

Rum Tasting

The bottles are helping to hold me upright

The bottles are helping to hold me upright

I have to admit I don’t know much about rum, although I try to avoid rum in bottles with pictures of pirates or bats on the label or in opaque bottles that appear to be hiding something evil. What I do know is that it is an ancient candy for adults, distilled from sugar cane extracts; the distillate is typically clear in nature, but develops color through aging in wooden barrels (or with caramel coloring in the case of that screw-top bottle swaddled in a paper bag being nursed next to your friendly neighborhood dumpster). No one seems to know where it originated, although educated guesses point to somewhere between the Indian Ocean and China Sea thousands of years ago. Since the 17th century it has become synonymous with the Caribbean; although it is manufactured world-wide, it is most widely known from brands from Central and South America and the Caribbean islands. Modern rum distillation is said to have started on the island of Barbados; Mount Gay is the regarded as the oldest surviving brand, dating back to 1703. Rum generally takes on characteristics based on where it is distilled and depending on whether pure sugar cane juice or molasses is used. As far as I’m concerned, if it was good enough to be part of the daily rations of the British Royal Navy through the 1960s (although often watered down in grog) it’s good enough for me.

Daniel Ceballos and Victor Hoyos, co-founders of Real Rum Drinkers

Daniel Ceballos and Victor Hoyos, co-founders of Real Rum Drinkers

My cousin Victor Hoyos recently coincided his birthday party with a rum tasting of 9 bottles with a wide range of pedigrees. The tasting took place at the home of friend Daniel Ceballos, a co-founder of a group with the authoritative title of The Real Rum Drinkers. I wondered if the assumption was that they are real (not artificial) drinkers, or they don’t drink fake rum – I found out as I joined them that the latter was the case. It would be a high insult to mix the rum represented with coconut milk and pineapple juice or to destroy their flavor by drowning it in Coke. These were rums created to be sipped and savored, and tasting them was serious business. Each rum was to be tasted from a sample frolicking at the bottom of a shot glass, with a rinse between samples. The goal was for the 8-or-so of us to elect a single candidate from the 9 bottles.

I would feel better not using Jagermeister glasses

I would feel better not using Jagermeister glasses

To appreciate each rum, one had to first understand the nomenclature. I wasn’t sure how “Gran Reserve” translated in the rum world, but in wine circles it is generally regarded as wines aged for at least five years (with two years in the barrel and the remaining three years in the bottle). The youngest of the herd was the Old Monk, an Indian blend that was aged 7 years with its adopted brother, the Puerto Rican Ron del Barrilito (literally “rum from the little barrel”) somewhere between 6 and 10 years. The oldest was either the 20-year old single-barrel Mocambo Art Edition from Mexico or the Costa Rican Ron Centenario Reserva blending barrels between 6 and 23 years. Filling out the middle was the 12-year-olds, Zaya Gran Reserva (a blend from Trinidad and Tobago); the Panamanian Abuelo Gran Reserva; and, the Diplomatico Reserva Exclusiva from Venezuela in a green bottle that looked medicinal in nature. The Matusalem Gran Reserva was celebrating its quinceañera; this blend was originally produced in Cuba but relocated to the Dominican Republic in 1959 after Castro took over (although it is still regarded as a Cuban rum). The dark horse was the Guatemalan entry – Ron Botran Solera 1893 aged just over 18 years.

The champions - Ron Botran Solera 1893 and Zaya Gran Reserva

The champions - Ron Botran Solera 1893 and Zaya Gran Reserva

What I didn’t expect as I sampled each round was the unique characteristics each bottle had. Some were medicinal, while others were spicy or sweet. The nose varied drastically as well; some didn’t have much of an aroma at all and not much of a descriptive taste (although most of the tasters regarded them as “smooth”). A good rum couldn’t be judged by its cover (or rather, bottle) either – the senior Mocambo was wrapped in what looked like dried palm fronds, and although it was the most attractive bottle, the rum didn’t even figure into the top 5. The Old Monk seemed to live up to its name – we deduced that Old Monk is to rum what Old English is to beer, at least in the group we were tasting. We had to taste a few of them multiple times to whittle down the field, but in the long run it came down to two bottles: the Zaya Gran Reserva and the Ron Botran Solera 1893. After considerable deliberation, we called it a tie – the Zaya was a sweet tribute to its sugar cane source without being candy-like, while the Botran had a spicy, almost cinnamon taste and bouquet. Ironically we only had half a bottle of the Zaya to sample from since one of the party-goers inadvertently knocked the bottle behind the sofa where it uncorked on the carpet.

Rum cake made to look like a bottle of Flor de Caña

Rum cake made to look like a bottle of Flor de Caña

After the tasting was done, Victor celebrated his birthday with a rum cake made by La Morenita Bakery to look like a bottle of Nicaraguan Flor de Caña rum (complete with his picture on the edible label). I can’t say I was much of a rum drinker prior to participating in the tasting, but I have discovered an appreciation for fine rum and could see myself nursing a glass of any one of these sans ice or mixers in the near future. The next time I run into Jack Sparrow I feel better equipped to answer to his question as to why the rum is always gone.

See images from the Val’s rum tasting experience

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Lucia, You Got Some ‘Splaining To Do

Posted on December 15, 2010 by Val

SWEA Swedish Christmas Fair

Shrine Expo Center, Los Angeles California

Vendors at the SWEA Swedish Christmas Fair

Vendors at the SWEA Swedish Christmas Fair

Back in 1979, Manhattan Beach, California resident Agneta Nilsson decided to host a Christmas celebration in her home for Swedish friends and relatives. The event became so popular that it had to be moved to larger venues and has not only become a tradition in Southern California, but worldwide. Nilsson founded the Swedish Women’s Educational Association (SWEA) as the benefactor of the annual fundraising event that is held every year on or around December 13, the Christian feast day of Italian Santa Lucia (Saint Lucy). As part of the celebration (held since 2007 at the Los Angeles’ historic 1926 Shrine Auditorium) the Swedish tradition of a procession of light that dates back to the 1700s has been an integral part of the event. A young woman is chosen to portray Santa Lucia, who leads a column of girls in white dresses and carrying a single candle each while singing Teodoro Cottrau’s Santa Lucia. The girl portraying Lucia also wears a wreath of lit candles in on her head symbolizing both the flame that could not burn Santa Lucia and light during the time of year in Scandinavia where the days are almost totally dark. At the 2010 event I attended with friend and fellow food writer Eddie Lin, Swedish singer and songwriter Emma Ejwertz (who led the chorus in traditional Swedish and American holiday songs) portrayed Lucia. The voices of the choir filled the hall with the sound of angels; the singers in the pageant are trained each year by choirmaster Lina Pasqua.

Lucia leads the choir in holiday song

Lucia leads the choir in holiday song

In addition to the festival of light, booths and carts selling imported food and gifts as well as hand-made items were set up on the front half of the main floor. It’s your one stop shopping destination for Advent stars, wooden ornaments, Swedish ales and glögg, baked goods and holiday linens, but wait, there’s more – there were a few stalls selling what looked suspiciously like the types of items hawked by Ron Popeil on late night television commercials. The stage where the raffle and festival of light were held was placed at the back of the hall with large, round communal tables covered with red and green tablecloths set up in front of it for dining and watching the performances. The cloth table coverings (festive as they were) seemed a bit out of place, as the available food was served on Styrofoam or paper plates with plastic utensils.

Glögg, the perfect holiday drink

Glögg, the perfect holiday drink

The food was mostly homemade, with the vendors lined up along the far right wall. Each food vendor had its own line, but it was slightly confusing as many of the patrons thought that the line at the first food booth serviced all the booths. The first two large covered booths sold Zoégas Swedish coffee (which is said to be the national drink of Sweden, a fact that must frustrate Swedes since the climate is too cold to grow coffee) and baked goods including freshly made cakes and cookies; just past these was the bar where your average American mixed drinks were available in addition to glögg for five dollars a cup. Glögg is a mulled wine beverage served during the holidays that will warm your innards and dull your senses – it is insidiously sneaky, posing as a hot, sweet beverage but could result in bizarre acts involving elf costumes and live reindeer. The glögg being sold was made from scratch, blending port and burgundy wines with cinnamon, sugar, cloves and cardamom, and then garnished with raisins and almonds. It was sweet and spicy and after half a cup I wanted to go outside and shovel snow (which is close to impossible in downtown Los Angeles).

Janssons frestelse with knäckebröd

Janssons frestelse with knäckebröd

The first substantial food booth featured a Swedish meatball platter with boiled potatoes, lingonberry sauce, brown gravy and a very basic salad; an open-faced shrimp salad; and a traditional Swedish dish called Janssons frestelse (Jansson’s temptation). Annie Andersen’s sinful-sounding Jansson’s temptation was a casserole-style dish made with potatoes, anchovies, butter, cream and onions that had the texture of a baked macaroni and cheese. The potatoes were still firm but with creaminess and an earthy kick from the anchovies. It was a delicious cold weather dish, but I wasn’t clear on the temptation aspect of the name. The second food booth had a single item, simply billed as “hot dogs”. This was obviously not the best marketing strategy, since after conversing with the cook we discovered that these were, in fact, wieners. Although Sweden manufactures their own wieners, the ones being hawked with the casual abandon of ballpark franks were imported from Germany with natural casings that provide a satisfying snap with each bite. In addition to the “hot dog”, you could also purchase a lingonberry drink, but if you missed this year’s event, fret not – you can stock up at your local IKEA.

Chef Andreas Volmefjord presents the herring plate

Chef Andreas Volmefjord presents the herring plate

Food Booth #3 was hosted by the Los Angeles Church of Sweden, offering the ever-popular Swedish pancakes and a fragrant, thin pea soup containing shredded carrot, but we bypassed those delights for the hard-core Swedish fare at Volmefjord Catering‘s booth. There was no line at their booth, which was tucked into the far corner of the auditorium, yet they seemed to have the most interesting dishes available. We turned down a very colorful open-faced red beet salad and meatball sandwich that looked more like art than food and an equally decorative gravlax sandwich with a mustard sauce for the holy grail of Swedish cuisine – the herring plate. This plate featured three different preparations of herring and a generous slice of Västerbotten cheese. Chef Andreas Volmefjord started with the basic herring aged in vinegar and then using the same fish added a cream sauce to one batch and a mustard-based sauce to the third. The standalone herring was only slightly sweet with the distinct taste of the fish slightly muted by the pickling; the cream variety was cool and smooth and the batch with the mustard sauce was slightly spicy with out being overpowered. The plate came with a slice of knäckebröd (crisp Swedish flatbread) that tasted astounding when topped with a little of the herring and a nibble of the cheese.

Ginger snaps and Zoégas coffee

Ginger snaps and Zoégas coffee

After recently attending a Norwegian lutefisk dinner and the annual Swedish Christmas Fair, I have developed a newfound appreciation for Scandinavian culture and cuisine and am grateful that this is available about as far from the region as you can get in sunny Southern California. I hope to experience more of what Denmark has to offer besides what I’ve encountered in Solvang, California as I work towards the Finnish.

The Annual SWEA Swedish Christmas Fair
The Shrine Expo Center
700 W 32nd St
Los Angeles, CA 90007
GPS coordinates: 34°1’23.90″N 118°16’54.90″W

See images from the 2010 Swedish Christmas Fair at Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles, CA

NOTE: Admission to the SWEA Swedish Christmas Fair was provided by the event’s organizer. The content provided in this article was not influenced whatsoever by the organizer of the event

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Roll The Bones

Posted on December 12, 2010 by Val

McRib

McDonald’s worldwide (when available)

The very un-riblike McRib

The very un-riblike McRib

From a culinary standpoint, I like to walk on the wild side. It was inevitable that I had to eventually consume the UMO (Unidentified Meat-like Object) that is well known to billions as the McRib. A majority of Americans might question the concept of the McRib as “bizarre food”, and I although I contend that it is impossible to overlook it as strange cuisine I will agree with them on the basis that it can only marginally be called “food”. Some journalists risk life and limb covering stories while hugging trees during Category 4 hurricanes, crouched down with rounds of ammunition whizzing past their heads, or being escorted through maximum security prisons; my defiant act of staring death in the face in the name of unbiased reporting involved passing through the golden arches for the sandwich that has had more farewell tours than The Who. In 2005, 2007 and 2008, the McRib was brought back for a limited time in what is likely an artificially inflated supply-and-demand game by McDonalds. The latest release was approximately a month long (beginning in November of 2010) which gave me approximately 30 days to muster the courage to eat one and to keep an open mind while doing so, considering the sandwich on its own merits. Working up the courage to approach the counter, I felt like Walter Cronkite covering a Glenn Beck/Sarah Palin rally; I knew I had to be impartial and call it the way it was.

A cross section of the McRib

A cross section of the McRib

The first thing that made me laugh was the red cardboard Pandora’s box the sandwich is served in with “McRib Tangy Temptation” emblazoned on the top; I equated the experience to showing up for a blind date, or interviewing at a company with no windows. The kimono was opened and I took a moment to size up my prey; I was face to face with a rather unassuming sesame seed roll with a brown 1/4 inch thick, brown, sauce-drenched slab poking out of the length of the roll with spatters of orange sauce in various spots on the bun and inside of the box. There wasn’t much of a smell (which I regarded as a blessing), even after lifting off the top half of the bun. I wanted to see the famous molded and colored “rib” formation, but it was difficult to make it out with the sauce, pickle chips and raw white onion pieces on top. I scraped the toppings off lightly with a knife and noticed that there was an even consistency to the meat, realizing that the McCrew member had assembled the sandwich with the McRib face down. A gentle flip exposed the now-legendary faux quarter-rack, but the “meat” portion did not have the original darker artificial coloring that used to make it stand out from the edible “bone” portion. I cut the sandwich in half, noting that the meat appeared to have an even consistency all the way through – it looked like a finely ground, compressed meatloaf or a burger in the UK. Since I always try to break down a new food to its simplest form, I broke off a piece of the meat. The taste was somewhat bland, approximating a cross between SPAM and a cellulose sponge. I replaced the top half of the bun and slowly finished the sandwich. The sauce was inoffensive; it had a little tang to it, and while not being either syrupy or watery it was neither overly sweet nor spicy. What it didn’t taste like was pork ribs; the meat is mostly pork shoulder and fat, ground and pressed into a mold and then pre-cooked before being flash frozen. This small sandwich weighs in at approximately 500 calories, half of which are from fat.

The oldest McDonalds in Downey, CA

The oldest McDonalds in Downey, CA

Although I didn’t require hospitalization, I don’t see myself ever having to eat a McRib again. If you are in the minority who have not yet tried the sandwich and are interested in trying it out of morbid curiosity, I recommend making the pilgrimage to Downey, California the next time it becomes available and eating it at the oldest McDonald’s still in operation. This location will make the experience more memorable from a nostalgic standpoint, but don’t expect carhops and fresh food made to order. After the original McDonald brothers’ stand in San Bernardino was demolished, the 1953 Downey location remained as the oldest in the world. The sign out front is a throwback to the old days with an animated neon Speedy on top, and the restaurant still maintains the original double arch design (initially created for structural integrity). Next door to the restaurant is a tiny, one-story building that houses a museum chock full of memorabilia including hats, a menu board and one of the original multi-mixers used to make their legendary shakes (in the days before using ingredients lab rats wouldn’t intentionally ingest). Sadly, McDonald’s missed the boat on maintaining the site as a flagship restaurant serving made-to-order menu items the way the McDonald brothers did in original uniforms. As you walk up to the window you come to the sad realization that the quality, prices and decor are no different than any other McDonalds. Back in the 1970s, a McDonald’s commercial featuring actor John Amos and ending in the familiar “You deserve a break today” started of with the line, “Grab a bucket and mop”. I don’t anticipate eating at a McDonald’s any time soon, but if I ever happen to have my car break down in the parking lot of a Mickey D’s hundreds of miles from civilization after three days of starvation in the desert, I may ask them to have that bucket and mop ready just in case.

World’s Oldest McDonalds
10207 Lakewood Blvd
Downey, CA 90241
GPS Coordinates: 33°56’50.66″N 118°7’4.29″W

See images of the McRib sandwich and the oldest surviving McDonalds in Downey, California

Watch an old McDonald’s commercial from the 1970s featuring John Amos


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